A poem or something like that

God hates it when I masturbate
I know this
no! I really know this like you know when your hungry
I know this not because any one told me this
because, I'm not kidding, no one has ever told me that masturbation is bad
Much less that God hates it.
I think its because they where all to humiliated to say any thing
I feel it in my body \ its like a chaos pattern
I just know because every time I do it I feel like God hates it
How the fuck am I supposed to know any thing except in this way

and I'm sorry if you have no shame in masturbating and this post offends you
because I really don't want you to feel shame for something that I can't see how it could effect any one else
but if you do feel shame from reading this post then you've totally mist the point
because

1. no one else except my self makes me feel this way so you feeling shame from reading this is entirely different from my shame.
and
2. I don't want you to feel shame

this I realize,  no one is going to read this post, when I realize this I decide to write what ever I wan't, and what I want to write is the I am incredibly depressed at this moment


do I have to be strong for others?
I thought venerability is strength!!!
but this is to far I know.

well maybe I should say something up lifting to get out of this hole
I have seen the end
my memory is getting stronger
now that I'm not afraid of it any more
I have a good job
I like some of the music thats on the radio now
I passed my drivers test, the 2ed time I took it
by cheating
I didn't know it was cheating
but I would have done it any way if I thought I could get away with it
I'm regaining my love for music and art
this is a really big deal

Portland is a lot more boring then it looks
It is a lonely sad city
its cold
I can't imagine how bad Seattle or Vancouver B.C. must be there even colder
Im developing an acute case of a gore a phobia
I love your sadness
Its like your dead
I love your sadness because I can't find it through your death, and I miss it
I'm turning into an old man and I like it
I don't like it
because I'm alone and scared to death
I think I took a rung turn some where and I really cant get back

I'm going to build asubterranean drill machine and burrow into the core o the earth
why?
for the warmth

I think Obama is an idiot
I'm an idiot too
but surprisingly Obama is a bigger idiot than me
he hired B.P. to do their own clean up
thats like having Charlie Manson do his own forensics
I feel bad for Obama
how can he live with him self
I don't know

I can hardly live with my self

think of something up lifting

reality is so rich only in my wildest dreams could I make something better

Mit Romany; glad he didn't win the election
barley glad
he sucks
"Corporations are people, my friend!"
those where his words

well...
God loves us no mater what we do
I know this is true
because I feel it even when I hate my self the most
so there you have it

I wish you could scientifically disprove that too
but it's really a stupid thing to wish for

I am an alien from the planet despair
actually I'm from the planet Orthodox
which circles the black hole of despair

I love emptiness
emptiness is possibilities

I hate having to plan
I hate order and any thing of the cosmos

the word world in the bible is translated from the greek word cosmon
meaning order, political, and natural
I hate the cosmos
I hate the world in the biblical sense

I love every one even Obama and Romney
I just hate that they where our only choices for president in the last election
where are all the good people
God looked through out the land and he only found one good man
Nowah!!!

Well thats it