Thursday, December 13, 2012

Over cast

The tragic events of yesterdays Town Center Shooting are not sitting well with me. This is of course how people usually feel about these things, but for me it's different, I feel as though I am entangle in this event in some in-explicable way, like those victims are somehow my brothers and sisters and that shooter is some sort of long lost school chum. I know this sound’s totally crazy but it's not, I of course I don't mean any of this literally I mean it in a mythological sense, in a sense outside the normal categories of sanity and insanity. It's more like the weird sanity of a dream, you would never try the things you do in your dreams in real life, but somehow they make sense as long as you’re asleep, it is in this sense that I feel connected to these people, through dreams and moods, deep sorrow. I in no way think that these connections could ever be actuated in any other way but to cause me deep emotion stirrings.

 In spite of this lingering uncomfort, today was somewhat more light then yesterday, today I didn't go to sleep right after work, same as yesterday, but today it wasn't because I wasn't wired it was because I had slept late in the day yesterday, and I was now on a different sleep schedule.

When I got off work 7:30AM I went home and took a shower then I called my cousin and asked if he wanted to go to breakfast, he did, it took awhile to worked out the details but aventaly I was in red 1998 Volvo and driving out to Hokinson where he was. We went to Hokinson café' which is actually in Battle Ground. Battle Ground is the place I went to high school, there was no battle there, Chef Untuk and Captain Strong reached a truce and the town was named after the none-existent battle between them, maybe they did have a battle in a way, one without blood. Where are all the sons and daughters of Chef Untuk now? They must be out there somewhere.
At the café' we chatted about music mostly, Bjork has great videos, Modest Mouse is a philosopher a master dialection, books too; Kerouac puts his philosophical perspective in his visions of Cody, Hemingway starts out his novels with social-philosophical imperatives, Kerouac is not really a chauvininite, but it's a stretch to call him a saint, kind of a reluctant swinger maybe, not excusable as a man of his time or any of that bullshit, but he loved his mother, and he loved the mother of God, and when it's all said and done he's a sweat guy not at all bitter tworred women, a dam good writer.

There’s that passage in Drama Bums where he solves the problems of cruelty toward animals through mediation and mystical revelation. I like that!

At one point Anders my cousin looks up and started to say, “this is place is still kind of ol'...." as the man seated behind me lifted his I-Pad to his face... "Well" Anders continues on a new path, "you would be crazy not to have one of these smart phones, that is if you can afford it, there just to helpful," I roll my eyes,(just joking) I node politely, it's a good thing isn't it. In between conversing we kept talking about how nice everything was; the gray over cast clouds, the food, all the nice people, I started to get the impression it wasn't really about these things but the burnet waitress instead. She had a longish face, lots of dark brown curly hair, and a lean figure with somewhat wide hips, and incredible checks, and full lips. Yeah it was all about the waitress, just like a Kerouac novel. She was some gone girl or whatever.

After that we went to pick up Anders's tux for his brother’s wedding at Loid center mall. The journey became increasingly drogues’ as I got more and more tired. While he was in the store I saw two old guys sleeping on big sofa chairs in the spinal aria of the mall, I found my own char, and when I sat down I noticed this really large couple going to town on each other’s face 20 feet infount of me, it was only like 3 secants, I swear, and the guy noticed I saw him, I didn't see his expiration because I looked away, it was really stupid, I didn't feel like a pervert or anything, they were just right in my line of site, after that I just closed my eyes and took a nap--until Anders got out of the store.

I'm thinking about the shooter now, I really just need to find something else to think about. Why would somebody do something like that? Just stop thinking about it!!!

When I dropped Anders off at my folks place my body was really starting to fatigue, I was rambling bout God, and Anders was taking pictures the rainbow of oil on the driveway, I decided to go to sleep there, found a couch, and crashed. When I woke up my folks where in the room getting ready to watch some music videos, they asked if I wanted them to let me sleep, and I said I was ready to get up, so they put on a Rich Mullins video. Rich Mullins was a Christian music artist from the early nineties, his music is up lifting late 80's soft pop,(to soft for me) some times he's a bit angular though,(which I like). One thing is He's pretty un- self conscious (which can be a good thing or a bad). He was vary popular among evangelicals in the 90's and (still highly regarded) so he had a lot of money which he gave away to were wholly shoos and live among native Americans, he's sort of like a Evangelical saint, a high contrast to the lavish pope's of Christian television networking. I don't know if it's because he died in a plane crash or what, but his music seems a little hunted to me, but in a sweat way.

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